Phil had a secret

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Phil and Helen have been married for three years, but only two months ago he revealed he had a son from a previous relationship. The admission occurred as they were expecting their first child.

“I don’t even know who he is anymore,” said Helen, who is fearful about bringing a child into a marriage where there is broken trust.

Helen’s family doctor told her about affordable couples counseling services at Catholic Family Services of Toronto. She recommended they seek counseling after Helen confided in her about the sadness, stress and betrayal she was feeling.

Unpacking their histories

Phil and Helen’s counselor worked with them to unpack their individual histories and help them understand how the secret was connected to fears stemming from Phil’s past trauma.

Over 10 weeks of counseling, they acquired communication skills, recommitted to being open with each other, and began turning towards each other when problems arose. They learned to take the risk of being honest rather than using deceit or avoidance to keep the peace.

By the end of their counseling, Phil and Helen found a new sense of confidence as a couple and started feeling excited about the arrival of their baby.

Photo: A couple receives counselling at CFS Toronto